喜

There is good news and just to share:

Wedding bells are ringing soon~~~

Feeling a mix of happy and excitement....

And lots of things to be done!!

A busy year for us ahead :D

Thoughts...

Some not exactly happy thoughts. Last night, I dreamed of them again. I know its rather silly of me to write these here. So what does it exactly implies? Maybe I really do miss them. Every time, I felt happy in the dream, but upon waking up, the sadness is back. I wonder how hard is it for someone to forgive and forget. Maybe they did, or they just felt its awkward for me to hang around them once more. Actually I really don't mind.

Something I read on Weibo today that kinda spoke my mind: 不是我想沉默, 是沒有人了解我.

Its not that I'm feeling guilty so I'm sad. It's because I still treat them as my friends, and I miss them. It's not that I wanted to treat both of you this way, If you all could understand, maybe we can just patch back. It's just wishful thinking, I know. Becos of this case that killed our friendship. You all never understood how deeply it hurt me. 4 or 5 dreams all consecutively meant the same thing - Its not about the guilt, its about the constant wish to be friends with you all again. The hurt that you all just threw the friendship away without salvaging it. The assumptions that I did not care about u, are they true? mostly true? or simply its just some overseeing on my part? I just want some peace now, I feel all the hurt erupting all over again.

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After this post, I realized how a friendship could be strong yet fragile. I guess what I'm looking for is a 解脫. Becos life still has a lot of 美好的東西. 我相信, 身邊任然還有愛我的人.